Poverty and struggle 

Life in Afghanistan in a village between  mountains  emptyness. and dry lands, 

Houses made of clay, zero resources 
No utilities, freezing cold and burning summers, 
Dusty environments , war and fear. 

My life in Afghanistan is going backwards than forward, I was rised with experiencing hunger not schools and friends, 
Povert as my companion, 
And bread as my daily goal, 

I had stones to play with not toys, 
I the first I learned about life was survival not happiness, 

I witnessed war and destructions not parks and vocations, 
I am alive and breathing but invisible to luck and hope, 
My closest friends were walls and dry lands, 

I was orphaned while I was still a child, 
I dreamed about new clothes and blankets in winter, 

I had nobody to cheer me up and clap for me,
There was no birth day party and cakes, 
I watch the sky at night looking at stars as my TV,
And the moon as my entertainment, 
I started to grow older inside me than getting younger, 
I was thinking about safety and peace, 

Life seemed to be a prison than freedom, 
Hunger and fear stole my smile, and made look older beyond my age, 
The smell of ammos and dynamo as my perfume,

There was no job and no work to earn money, 
I didn't know about higher notes of money ,
I only knew and could recognize the cents, 

50 cents was a big achievements and huge amount in my situation, 
I could get sandals with that amount of money, 
Among the children the rich was the one that had sandals, 

Walking barefooted  through the mountains and dry lakes has damaged my feets, 
New sandals meant a lot to me. 

That 50  cents were not easy to earn, 
There were too much obstacle on the way to get that 50 afghani,

I wanted to achieve more than the 50 cents, 
I had dreams about a good life and a peaceful escape from that scary village and war, 

I hoped one day I would become successful and help all the kids and give them shoes and clothes and send them to schools to cities, 

But that was not possible because I had to survive and fight with the current hunger and stay alive, because I knew there is no one to come with a meal ,it was me as the only helper to myself, 

I needed to make 30 afghani everyday to survive hunger, 2 breads could be bought with this amount, 
And 50 afghani more I needed to buy me plastic made sandals that would work for me at least one month, 

I had only one option to make that money, 
To gather bullet shelves and steal parts of exploded bombs in the streets and areas where war had taken place, 

Anything that was made of iron and steal was beneficial , either little or big in size, 

It was very hard to find those hard small parts by looking with my eyes into the ground, 
So I used a magnet I had with me for a long time, 

I tied the magnet with a two miters long rope tightly, 
And holded the start of the rope in my hands and the end of the rope on the ground with the magnet tied up on it ,

I would walk and pull the rope behind me crashing into the ground to attracte and catch parts of iron from the ground and inside the clay ,

This was easy to gather shelves of bullets from under the clay and invisible areas on the soil, 
I would walk about 30 minutes and then stop and check on the magnet to see what it had cached, 

And  I will collect whatever little and big parts of steal and shelves of bullets attached to the magnet, I had a small pocket made of clothes I would store the parts in it ,

Again I would through the magnet on the ground and pull it ahead for more 30 minutes ,

This wasn't easy but was the only way for an income, I needed to collect at least 1 kilo of those materials to be able to sell it for 30 afghani to a shop in another village, 

That shop was far but was a hope for kids like me to have money by such materials, 

Other kids used to apply the same method to collect these things, 
But this was a competition between kids and sometimes fight will happen over areas where many kids enter to find these parts, 

Only those kids like me who were orphaned and had nobody to support them could work this hard to get money for food, 

Not every kid was lucky to collect one kilo of bullet shelves, 
Sometimes I would only gather 200 grames and get only 5 afghani for price for it ,

I tried it the whole day I carried the magnet in almost every corner of lands and streets but my luck gave up on me and I found only 300 grames materials, 

It was very upsetting because I couldn't get enough food with that, 
My feet gave up I needed sandals. 

I almost searched the whole areas the village around and there was nothing anymore, 
This was a bad news for me, I had to look a new place to find more materials for sell, 

Hunger was striking me so much so I had to sell what I had with me to have bread for the night, 
I went to the shop and sold it and I got just 7 afghani and with very hungry stomach I bought half bread with that money, 

I returned home and spend the night in worries for tomorrow job, 
I slept in the ground with the magnet in my hands .

In the morning I woke up and I realized I don't have anything to eat for breakfast, 

I had to find a way out very soon before hunger make me weak and suffer more, 

What I could see was a big mountain behind me, 
But too tough and hard to climb it with my barefoots, 
I was thinking maybe I get something good behind the mountain which I never crossed before, 

Well I started climbing the mountain, 
Many times I fell down and got hurt, 
My hand Pams and feet swallowing due to too much touching to the mountain body, 

But I didn't give up ,I had hope I would find something good behind the mountain kept me going forward, 

I went there and saw a sealed and empty land with a little grass grown on the land, 
There were a few destroyed rooms and broken walls, it looked like a shooted base of solders maybe, 

I saw fences around the land I couldn't touch or bring fences that wasn't the part of my business ever, I entered through the fences and started using my magnet to see if I can catch something,

I kept walking until my magnet felt heavy ,
I checked it and saw some pins  of gurnets attached to it and a few shelves but bigger than shelves before, 

This brought me hope to look more, 
And this time I saw something like a bullet left on the ground untouched, 

It looked like a bullet but very big in size almost  half miter in size  and weight almost 10 kilo . It was so heavy for me to pick it up and carry it . But somehow it was possible to push it because if it's circled shape like a bullet round and circle 

This was my first time seeing something like that I was happy so much that if I bring this to the shop I could get so much money for this, 

But the weight of that thing and it's size was very big problem,
I couldn't move it myself alone,
I needed more kids at least 10 kids or maybe 5 men to bring this for me to the shop, 

So I decided to get back to my village and tell about this to other kids in the village and offer them a share in the profit and ask them to come with me here and  help me deliver this thing to the shop, 

But I feard that they may not give me my share and fight me and also the mountain was not possible to be climbing with this thing, 

So I thought with myself that if I leave it right now I may not get it later and someone else might see and take it for sale ,

I was so much happy and very excited, 
I was thinking about new shoes and a bicycle and new clothes, it was like a beautiful dream, 
It's size and weight would get me so much money that I can't even imagine and count well as a child, 

That's why I decided to push this thing a long way around the mountain on the open ground  and shift it home  first and then from home to the shop, 

This was the work of a big man but I as a kid had so much hope and the happiness for the sandals and food was like motivation and power to my veins, 

I started pushing it to the direction of my village,

It was heavy and very tiring rolling it like a ball to the village the hard way ,but I had no other choice, 

I would role it for an hour and then sit and take a rest , my hands and feets in pain and body sweating under the heat of the sun light,
Throat almost died out with thirst, 
 
I would get up again and start rolling it further, 
There was no one to help me. I was in the middle of nowhere, it was only the three of us, 
The sun 
The sky 
And me 

I wondered why no one is passing by in this land and why nobody had found this thing,
I sat for a while looked around to see if someone notice me around and help me ,
But there was no one so far, 

I had to continue rolling it to the village, 
It started getting dark and I was half way left to the village, 

So I continued rolling it to the village and entered the the area of my home, and because there were a few people and houses around and it was dark so people had went home ,and the mountain and peaks of stones made it hard for anyone to notice me . So I unluckily rolled it all myself to the house, 

I was so happy with this success, 
I was looking at it so much as if I'm looking at diamonds, 

This was like a lottery in a village drowned in poverty and impossibilities, 

This was the second night I had no food even though the hard rolling I did ,

Because of happiness and hope for tomorrow I endured the hunger and slept, 

In the morning I woke up and the first thing I tried to immediately look after was the thing to check it if it's still there or someone had stolen it, 

I saw it there and I felt relived, 
Now I had no energy anymore to move it a single miter to the shop, 

So I decided to go to the shop and meet the buyer of materials  and ask him to come to my home and buy this thing, 

I went to the shop and told the buyer about this. 
But because I couldn't name this thing and I didn't know anything about it I couldn't give the shop man any detail of what it is ,

He was curious and also interested in what I found so he accepted to come with me to my house, 

He entered my house and saw this thing and he got shocked ,
He ran away from the house immediately and called me out too, 
He got too much scared as if he saw a ghost, 

I followed him to the outside,
He ran so far from my house and stopped in a corner and asked me to immediately get to him, 

As I approached him, I asked what happened? 

He started asking me questions, 

His first question he asked in fear, 

Where did you get this from ? 
I said I found this behind the mountain on the land and rolled it to my house yesterday, 

When he heard this answer he got more scared and said whatttt? 

He put both his hands on his head and said oh my god , oh my god ,

I asked him what he means why he is scared and confused ? 

He told me , hey listen , are you crazy ? 
You have gone to the land of mines ,
That area is covered with fenses and there are mines under the soil that's why nobody goes there , you went there and nothing happened to you I think God is protecting you specifically, 

When I heard him saying this I feard too, and I understood why there was no one on the way ,
Why this thing was not taken because the land was full of mines, 

But somehow it didn't bother me much because I was out of the land, 

But the thing was still in my house and I was hoping he will buy this but seeing him running away from it made me think something is wrong, 

So I asked him , do you want to buy this ? 

He taking a deep breath with a hug regret in his face said , you idiot , you have carried a bomb to your house , a bullet of tank , it's not used or triggered yet , it has dynamo inside it don't mess with it stay away from this unsed tank bullet, 

Oh my god , hearing this wasn't easy ,

This was the biggest heavy and painful words I could hear in my life , my hopes for new shoes were vanished, 
My happiness was gone ,
My plans for good meals was overed,

It felt like I I've lost everything in my life. 
Time and breathing felt like a burden, 

My tears fell from my eyes down to my neck, 
I felt so much hurt with this loss as if I have lost a beautiful gift, or a diamond ring ,

I will never forget what how painful I felt inside that movement ,and that man is words are still in my head , 

Afghanistan is a graveyard of souls and happiness , no one is safe from pains and losses, 
This country has buried hopes of children and families for decades, 

I'm happy to tell my story to the world  I feel less burden on my soul by expressing what I have carried inside me for years.